I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize