No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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