y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize