I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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