i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
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Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
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Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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