i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize