Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
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In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
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Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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