Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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