Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize