We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
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My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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