tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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