You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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