Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
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I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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