i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize