If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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