i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize