why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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