I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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