You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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