probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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