He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
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I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
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I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dick very happy bro
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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