Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Shame - the story of my life.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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