Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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