I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
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i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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