Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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