Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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