Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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