he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She needs sedatives and a leash
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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