Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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Church boner. Awkwardddd
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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