Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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