im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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