I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I cockslap morals
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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