Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
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We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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