someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize