i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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