these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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