Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize