why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
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My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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