drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize