we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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