I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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