I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize