I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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