The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
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we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
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Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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