Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize