i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize