it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
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I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize