Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize