Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
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My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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