I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
