This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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