dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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